YOUR THERAPIST

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YOUR THERAPIST

“Sometime I just need to talk to someone; even if I haven’t known them that long.” Diana said. ‘Silence isn’t my best company. I love where friends are and surely, it really helps me even if I’m depressed to the core,’ she adds on.

I met Diana three weeks ago. She is cool. She is fun. Sometime she can open the windows of the chat room and walk out straight to her own world: maybe, back to her work place, or to the tender age where she used to receive a morning peck from her mother, and so much, and so much more.

The first time I met her, she took the accolade of the hour. The second day we met, she took the award of the day, then the week, now she is moisturizing this sickening January for me and the group; and maybe, if December comes now, despite having not achieved even the quarter of my yearly goals, I’m perfectly sure that she will take the best award (if any) that is given to ladies or women that makes unhappy men around the world happy because in my list, and I’m sure, to those who must have encountered the same thing will attest that she doesn’t even need the competition because it all belongs to her. Hers alone!

“Well, I am that kid that was brought up watching soccer. If not watching soccer, the rest of my times, I would spend them in silence: maybe reading story books, magazines or watching movies.’ I told her.

‘What? Didn’t you have friends back then?” She asked me with that mix reaction: partially surprised, partially fully understanding.

“I used to have friends, but we would meet when we’re playing soccer.”

“Okay!” And she geared.

“Yeah… But it’s normal, isn’t it?”

‘I know it is normal, yes, but boys like your type are never that common in their tender ages.’

‘Well, at least it’s “super normal” that I am facing you for the first time right now unlike before. I mean, those days when I was in primary.” That is true. I used to be that kid that never talk much with my schoolmates unless on circumstances.

“Well, I must have missed a lot from your childhood. But now, I hope you’re not having butterflies as we are speaking. Are you?” She placed the joke on me.

“Nope! I’m totally cool.” And the she laughed.

Because of these adjectives and so many other endless attributes that I couldn’t file under this one blog post, I nominate Diana the woman of the year and the special therapist that will treat my friend whom I will never mention his names due to his own human rights doctrines.

Dear, John, Diana sends me a long article last night. It’s about this guy who was dumped by his girlfriend. Upon the incident, he decided to drink a lot, isolate himself from his friends and shut himself in his own cocoon, thinking that was the best way to deal with the matters of the heart.

“My first girlfriend dumped me in spectacular fashion. She was cheating on me with her teacher. It was awesome. And by awesome, I meant she felt like getting punched in the stomach about 253 times.” And so much more that must have been ensued in the process to make the author of the article fell low.

John met with Josephine (not her baptismal name either) on 24th, November 2010, when they were graduating from primary school. They were kids, they knew nothing about love, they knew nothing about how to hold the water and stop the current to sway them away right from Lake Victoria to Mediterranean Sea and Indian Ocean, but they didn’t shy off from giving it a shot. Though John was in a mix high school, he opted for a boys’ high school; he feared too much that his mind would be filtered and the mental image of this girl could possibly be washed away and forget her completely – no matter how hard he will fight for her. This girl, on the other hand, was doing the best she can to make sure that John stays on top of the list of the things she treasures most in life. She could get threats from malicious boys that she ditches their proposals but she couldn’t give a hoot either. At times she could call in the middle of the night to check on him when she encounter weird nightmares. When she comes from school, she would make sure she looked for a telephone booth to call John’s mother and sister to confirm if he is home for the mid-term break.

They graduated from high school and then went to the same campus. Josephine delayed a bit because her parents could not support her to join campus immediately. Later on, after two years, when John was winding up, they managed to send her to campus – where she joined him.

Things changed. She was not whom he knew before: even though she hears John getting sick because he used to have bacteria in the blood and typhoid, she could not call or go to the hostel to check on him. She stopped calling John’s mom whom they used to talk on phone most of the times, especially when John tries to go astray. One time, as John was watching Arsenal’s game, he received a phone call from Josephine’s friend, telling him that Josephina eloped with another man.

This really demoralized him to the bone. He could not stop thinking about her and the past they shared together. His association with the outside world dropped, his reading habit shrunk, and even during his final semester of the academic year, his GPA (Grade Point Average) reduced sharply.

It has been months now, probably, clocking to one year: on Wednesday 13th, February 2019, when his heart was broken. Though he is a man who doesn’t give up, you can tell how pale and withered he has become since Josephine left him. He never tasted alcohol before, but when this Josephina left him, he started drinking for the first three months. The only day he smiled and indeed he talked freely was on a 14th night of May 2018 (the day before his birthday), when his friend (a girl) called him and talked him up to the midnight. The following day, he went to do his exams because he had two things: a birthday and exams all at the same time. This friend bought him a book to read, titled “LONG WALK TO FREEDOM” by Nelson Mandela. He thought, after receiving the book that it will help him walk freely out of the bondage. Far away where Josephine will never feature in his imaginations; or, when he talk of the most valuable things he has lost in life, he will never mention anything that reminds him of her. Maybe he will be free to date another girl who is more decent than Josephina and performs extra ordinarily (not just sex and cleaning in his house) because no matter how much he try to move on, the same music that used to be play when he was with Josephina would be played again. Because of this reasons and more he did not share with us, he would always be held up short because he actually doesn’t know how to please different girls in different ways. It is not his game. He doesn’t know how to do.

Pleasing women has never been like a walk in the park. We men have failed right from the bible. Samson in the Bible, despite killing a lion with his bare hands, despite being the chosen warrior who hold the Palestinians by their balls, and above all, being the Judge in the Israelites’ kingdom. despite all the happiness during the wedding and the life ever after that was showered with blessings, Delilah still had the guts to know the source of Samson’s strength. Foolishly, Samson told her in the name of pleasing her. Boom! Samson was captured; shaved bald and then Israelites were defeated and the land of Gaza (according to my Sunday school teacher) was cursed. That’s what it means by pleasing a woman. Luanda Magere in the Luo of Kenya’s folktales repeated the same mistakes but failed.

Anyway, this coming February, on 13th, to be specific, it would mark his one year anniversary of heart-broken. I hope it will find him when things have changed. Not like when he was heart broken and also finding it hard to balance books and the fled girlfriend who didn’t care to delete the pictures she took and posted them on Instagram while wearing his T-shirts. I hope it will be a better year to make him change the attitude and start liking girls and find the right one that will buy him more books than the other to read on special days. I hope he will find the right one that they will be taking lunch together from Monday to Monday and watch movies on Thursdays. I hope he finds the perfect match that will understand life better and always encourage him when he is low. I hope he finds someone who checks on him before he leaves his workplace and make him smile after the frazzle from work pressure. Hope, the therapists inform of Diana helps him feel better and becomes the best person he want to become because she is my therapist too.