TO THE INTENDED ONE

Dear future wife, before I pour out my heart telling you how much I feel about you in the wilderness – a place where we all meets in fictions, do not start feeling bored when you read most of my words dorminated with “I” and “you” – or, “them” being repeated in almost all the sentences and paragraphs. Bare with it, not every desperate journey ends up in solitude; sometimes we do not know how to speculate the triumphing time. In case, you too, are part of the audience reading this. Thank.

I am not sure when or where we shall meet: is it at a cinema watching a movie and your hands dip in my popcorns, or I mistakenly sip your coffee and thought it is mine. And when the movie gets to the climax, especially that part where the actors are kissing passionately and hold my sweaty hands and then we gets wil, starts squeezing your breasts with no regrets, kiss you and then I denounce how much I have been crushing on you when we were entering into the hall. I don’t know. I also don’t know if I will insult you in a chat room, feel bad, hold me a grudge and then the day we meet, you change your mind to fight and instead ask me sarcastically in front of my buddies and then verbally fight, then reconcile for one last time. I, too, don’t really have an idea if I will meet you at the hospital’s reception while waiting to see the doctor or at the market while shopping tomatoes or after reading my article in the newspaper: complaining how the government has refused to build a national theater in my own village, then you send me a mail, telling me to grow up and stop complaining for menial stuffs because the government has refuse to control the mortality rate leave alone promoting individual. In the process, we interact until we plan a day to meet and then finally fall in love.

I’m crafting this epistle, knowing that you don’t have to pack your luggage now – wherever you’re to come and we make a family, no. I am not sure if I have met you already or closer to meeting you soon, or the fate is still holding us hostage. Either way, easy way, I’m anxiously waiting for that manna to fall from heaven. I will wait for you while playing a song, “Love Takes Time” by Mariah Carry, because when you come, I know you will always give me all the joys and treats my sick morning. You will be my doctor to eject away the fear in me to fight procrastination, too. Lol. I am just assuming. But yes, this is the dream of every man.

I don’t care what part of the country you come. I don’t care what you studied and your majors. I don’t care if you’re a figure eight or twelve type. I don’t care if you have chubby checks or not. I don’t care if you have a brother or a sister who still love Ben Ten or Bogi Benda or Tom and Jerry even at the age of 33. Every man has his augmented desires that are solely belongs to him. Mine has nothing to do with you impressing me with what Vera Sadika has or cutting off you hair like Huddah Monroe to save my pocket. I will usher you into my life with style when that day come. You got an absolute choice. You’re not a woman who I will marry because you’re an African, a South Sudanese or we share all the norms and values in original village. No kinsman will take the absolute right to dictate what you wear or what foods you will eat or whether to talk first or last in the community meetings. You will be under my control, where you will be free to do all these. It is you and I, to rule our own kingdom.

Before we meet, put it in mind that I am not going to tie the knot with you as a woman who will just give me kids, but a helper who will teach me what I don’t know and remind me of the old me that was washed away by the cruel world that started hating me the first day I stepped out of my mother’s womb. I promise I will do everything at my capacity to make sure that I give you everything. But first, if possible, study me as I will also do the same. I will do it, though it is illegal to do and to understand a book called woman. I will do what it takes to make sure that I know what pleases you. I know that every home has crisis and that is why we will always be playing D Major’s playlist – we shall know how to solve our problems without involving the extended families in the neighborhood or social media.

I haven’t yet known your hobbies, or things you love doing in general because we haven’t met yet; but, maybe, once I come to know of them, it will take me less time to know what exactly you embrace when you’re in pain: whether it’s a packet of chocolate, a cup of coffee, reading a thrilling book, or go for hiking on Jebel Luri.

I don’t know more about husband materials, but I will do the best I can to make sure that the roof doesn’t gets blown off by the wind and we become homeless. I don’t remember the lyrics of SORRY 2004 by Reuben Studdard to convince you in a saloon to make up again with me. I’m not a perfect soul to please you together with the world, but I will try my best to put a smile on your face each time you wake up.

Love, sometimes fades after a while, your family, friends and even your workmates will tell you – one day that there is a better life you deserve than the one we shall have. They will, at the same time make up funny stories or use the weakest thing they have seen in me to make sure that this thing doesn’t work. Listen here, darling, have you ever seen how many people who congratulates a couple that have receive a new-born baby yet they didn’t have any idea what pain they went through during the labor pain? That’s is the same thing.

Maybe you will meet those we were in a relationship before, tried and it didn’t work out for them to spit all this.

They might christen me with all sorts of names: a jargon, hopeless, heartless, a low life, you can name them all. All these will be there. You know that there is no home build on a glassy foundation; it is how you lay your foundation what matters. And if listening to any lies around the neighborhood is part of your life, then, maybe, the bright future that I have always been dreaming will soon melts.

Look before you leap. The descendent that nailed Jesus Christ still has a generation existing up to date. I will wait, even if it takes you twenty years to make sure that you come, I won’t care. I will be right here to make sure I usher you into my chamber.

Best regards.